Of Various Stuffs I Need to Improve (Or Me Whining a Lot)

I've been feeling kinda stupid over something that shouldn't be that big of a deal and I think it's because of flaws I have that I could improve.

The one that's biggest and probably the most impossible for me to fix would be my ego. Outside of the realms of Settlers of Catan, Mabinogi, reading, and Japanese it's pretty tiny. In some cases positively minuscule. Like in talking to other people, writing in any form beyond simple text messages and IMs, driving, and how I look. I think my tiny ego causes me to have absolutely no backbone and to say 'sorry' a lot. I'll say it regardless of if it's even my fault or if I could have even influenced whatever it was. At the same time, I blow off other people's 'sorry's with not your fault, or its fine, or whatever. Maybe this is why it feels like people skim over them as if they're not sincere. It's like crying wolf and expecting people to pay attention to it, but ignoring them when they say it. I'll try to work on the sorry part, but the ego'll will have to follow after all this stuff. Maybe being more positive when things I attempt don't work out or something.

Some of the things I need to work on are kinda part of what I just said. I need to consider how to actually communicate, I'm great when blathering on about whatever random subject I happen to be talking about, but when it's something I actually care about or that needs specific information to be successfully conveyed to whomever I'm talking to I become rather inarticulate and I just sorta stop being able to think sometimes. Same thing goes for the writing. Only for that it's even worse because I usually don't care about what paper or whatnot I'm writing. Which is the point of this blog. To work on the whole 'I can't write to save my life' view I have. I don't think that's been successful so far, but I'll keep at it.

Lets see... Next up would probably be the driving bit. I can't drive, so I need to practice. I can't control when I can too much, but a friend of mine had a point. On Saturdays when my mom is out and driving anyway, why don't I practice then? So I'll have to bug my mom about that one. Once I quit feeling shakey after driving maybe I'll be able to practice even more.

Hmm... I had oodles to say before, but it's kinda washing away. You know how when you try to remember a dream it gets harder to remember? Thats what it's like when I try to remember where I was originally going with what I was writing.

You know what? I'm gonna talk about mundane stuff now.

Theres some meteor shower that was supposed to be best August 11 & 12, but I procrastinated and managed to go outside on the thrirteenth. I saw one meteor, which is pretty awesome considering so many of my neighbors had lights on, and I didn't spend much time outside.

I went to this convention called Northern Michigan Anime Convention, or NMACon for short, that was really small. Thats where the picture of the Pinky:cos figure came from. They were showing Baccano! in one of the screening rooms, but it was in the smaller one, so I didn't stick around to watch. My mom and I decided not to go for the second day and ended up driving around the area west of Traverse City for quite awhile. We went to Luddington, walked on the beach for ten minutes, then headed for home. I kept trying to stay awake on the way home, but it didn't work. Though my mom woke me up for this weird happening in the clouds. It looked like they were falling off a ledge and swirling back up or something. I was trying to frantically call my dad and freaking out about the idea of tornadoes too much to get a picture. Now that I know it'd would've been okay I wish I had.

Oh, and the car's steering wheel was shaking. We kinda knew the tires were bad, but we really had no idea that day how bad they were. The next day my mom went all over shopping for food and the like. At her last stop, after she spent a fair amount of our money, she noticed you could see the wire mesh of the tires. She had them replaced the next day, but the thought that we were driving around for nine hours on really worn tires is kinda scary.

I almost don't want to post this anymore, but I went to the trouble of typing it all, so I guess I may as well. I started it August 18th, 2009 at 2:37 AM. I'm posting it on August 25th, 2009 at 4:13 PM.